The Power of Smile

Smile. That was his advice.

Matt and I worked for the same company.  A few weeks before, I had met him, an up and coming, soon to be executive, at a training seminar.  He was one of the four executive facilitators.  I was there to learn. Following the session, Matt had been assigned to provide me with feedback.  That's why I was in his office.

Smile? Did he say smile? He couldn’t be serious.  Was he patronizing me?

I’m no dummy.  I understood that Matt was a person of influence in the company.  That’s why I showed up at his office promptly to meet with him.  That’s why I was wearing my suit and heels, instead of my normal business casual attire.  That’s why I had spent twenty minutes reviewing Matt’s biography.

Getting feedback had always been difficult for me.  My usual approach was to try to act attentive, thank the person who was giving the feedback, and then get the hell out of there.  Feedback in my experience, has usually involved action items.  Like “Try to spend more time learning about our pricing programs” Or, “Get a copy of this new management book that everyone is raving about.”  Or “Subscribe to the Wall Street Journal.”  I didn't have time for that nonsense.  I had a job to do.  

Matt could tell I was shocked by his suggestion.  But he didn’t say anything.  He waited for me to speak.

Inside I was thinking, “Are you out of your mind! I’ve got lots of important work to do and the last thing I have time for is to worry about smiling!”  What I wanted to say was, “I spent an entire day at that freaking facilitated session and the only feedback you have for me is smile?”

Instead I said, “Uh, well. That certainly is interesting advice.” 

Matt wasn’t going to let me off easy.  He leaned forward in his chair, looked me square in the eyes and said, “In today’s world, the people who succeed are the people who smile.”

Seriously? I suppressed an urge to roll my eyes. Success, I thought to myself, comes from working hard.  Success comes from being smart or having talent.  Success comes from solving problems and getting the job done.  What kind of yahoo would believe that success comes from smiling?

I took a deep breath and talked myself out of walking out of Matt’s office.  From reading Matt’s biography, I knew that he had worked himself from an entry-level job to senior executive.  He had a big office and a reserved parking spot.  He was earning a lot more money than I was.  I suppose, I thought, he might know something that I don’t.  

“Maybe you can explain what you mean.” I said.  I tried paint a small smile on my face.  God, I hope I don’t look cheesy, I thought.

For the next half hour, Matt convinced me that everything I had believed up until that point was wrong.  I can’t remember everything he said, but here are the highlights:

·    Your smile is the first thing people will notice about you.  When you smile, you project an air of being interested and engaged.  When you don’t you, come across as hostile and disinterested. 

·    A smile sends a message of confidence.  It tells people you feel comfortable with the situation.  It tells them you are ready for a challenge.

·    A smile shows that you appreciate the importance of a meeting or situation.  Not smiling sends a message that you think the people or issues are not important and that others are wasting your time.

Matt also talked to be about the benefits of smiling outside of the office.  “If you believe you are happy, you will be happy.  If you are happy, you will be successful at work, at home, or wherever you go.  It's that easy.  When you smile, you feel better.  When you feel better, you become better.”

It was two years ago that Matt told me about the power of smile.  And guess what?  He was right.

Since then, I’ve tried to concentrate on smiling more.  And though I didn’t win the lottery or get a corner office, I have noticed a difference.  I feel better about every day I live.  I feel more relaxed.  I feel less stressed.  Because I feel better, I am able to concentrate on doing better at home and at work.

My friends and coworkers have noticed the difference too.  “You seem happier.” A coworker said recently.  “You seem more poised and confidence.”  She attributed it to my recent weight loss.  “Achieving a goal is enough to make you grin.” She said.

I just smiled.  Because I knew that everything I had done for the past two years, the running of races, the exercise, the weight loss, the attitude, could all be traced back to Matt’s advice. 

Smile.