"If you hold my hand, Daddy, I'll be happy.", three year old Emily whispers. We have just entered a long staircase with dim lighting. Emily is feeling a bit spooked. I watch her Daddy engulf her tiny fingers with his big paws. A few moments later she is snuggling in his arms and he is taking her burden as his own as we all negotiate our way to the ground floor.
A few days later Ken and Eric are knocking a soccer ball around the yard. For a moment, Ken is seven again as they kick the ball under the swingset. I can hear them laughing and shouting like best friends. Later that same night I watch Beth scale the couch to plop next to her Daddy. She pushes a book at him, "Read Elmo." Ken imitates a squeeky orange monster voice as he tells her about the ABCs.
Ken's greatest joy is the time he spends with his chidren. He helps them into their jammies at bedtime and summons them to breakfast in the morning. He knows how to gently comb tangles out of little girls hair. He will tell you that Tasha and Uniqua are Backyardigans and that Picachu evolves into Raichu in Pokemon. And he can sing the entire Wonder Pets theme song in an imitation squeaky ducky voice.
Being so committed to his role as Dad did not come to Ken right away. While he never minded changing diapers or reading bedtime stories, he balked at wriggling on the ground after a rousing game of ring around the rosy. And he preferred reading The Rolling Stone to The Mouse on the Motorcycle. All in all, there were too many more important, grown up things to do, like go to work and watching college football games. Fortunately for Ken, he found himself suddenly unemployed and forced to take the role of full time Dad and house husband. The story behind Ken's change in vocation belongs to him. But its funny how something that starts out looking like the worst experience of your life can end up being the best.
Ken has been a stay at home parent for over two years now. We both love it. He gets to welcome Eric when he comes home from school each day and sing to Beth at afternoon nap time. And he gets to play on the swings with Emily. He has an abundance of time to devote to helping with spelling homework, jumping in the pool for swim lessons, baking chocolate chip cookies and practicing animal noises. He is also the only first grade room mom with a beard.
Having a full time Dad in the house has been a great experience for me too. For one thing, Ken does all of the laundry and grocery shopping. And he cleans the bathrooms, vacuums the rugs and scrubs the kitchen floor. He has also learned how to cook. The days of frozen dinners are behind us. It turns out Ken is an excellent cook. A few weeks ago he made bacon cheeseburger meatloaf with pepper jack cheese maccaroni. The following week he made fish and chips. Later that same week he grilled sword fish steaks. Tonight we enjoyed stuffed pork chops.
From my end, I've learned a couple of important things too. First, I learned to let go and let someone else take over "my kingdom." I've discovered that I don't have to be everything all the time and that I have to let Ken parent in his way. Second I learned how important it is to have a partner who is devoted to his family. I'm glad that we share that as a common value. Finally, I learned what people mean when they say "when life closes a door, God opens a window." Our window, it turns out, came with a beautiful view.
Ken is upstairs right now coaxing Beth and Emily into the tubby. Its princess bubble bath night. I'd better get going or I'll miss my turn to make pony tails out of the soap suds.
A few days later Ken and Eric are knocking a soccer ball around the yard. For a moment, Ken is seven again as they kick the ball under the swingset. I can hear them laughing and shouting like best friends. Later that same night I watch Beth scale the couch to plop next to her Daddy. She pushes a book at him, "Read Elmo." Ken imitates a squeeky orange monster voice as he tells her about the ABCs.
Ken's greatest joy is the time he spends with his chidren. He helps them into their jammies at bedtime and summons them to breakfast in the morning. He knows how to gently comb tangles out of little girls hair. He will tell you that Tasha and Uniqua are Backyardigans and that Picachu evolves into Raichu in Pokemon. And he can sing the entire Wonder Pets theme song in an imitation squeaky ducky voice.
Being so committed to his role as Dad did not come to Ken right away. While he never minded changing diapers or reading bedtime stories, he balked at wriggling on the ground after a rousing game of ring around the rosy. And he preferred reading The Rolling Stone to The Mouse on the Motorcycle. All in all, there were too many more important, grown up things to do, like go to work and watching college football games. Fortunately for Ken, he found himself suddenly unemployed and forced to take the role of full time Dad and house husband. The story behind Ken's change in vocation belongs to him. But its funny how something that starts out looking like the worst experience of your life can end up being the best.
Ken has been a stay at home parent for over two years now. We both love it. He gets to welcome Eric when he comes home from school each day and sing to Beth at afternoon nap time. And he gets to play on the swings with Emily. He has an abundance of time to devote to helping with spelling homework, jumping in the pool for swim lessons, baking chocolate chip cookies and practicing animal noises. He is also the only first grade room mom with a beard.
Having a full time Dad in the house has been a great experience for me too. For one thing, Ken does all of the laundry and grocery shopping. And he cleans the bathrooms, vacuums the rugs and scrubs the kitchen floor. He has also learned how to cook. The days of frozen dinners are behind us. It turns out Ken is an excellent cook. A few weeks ago he made bacon cheeseburger meatloaf with pepper jack cheese maccaroni. The following week he made fish and chips. Later that same week he grilled sword fish steaks. Tonight we enjoyed stuffed pork chops.
From my end, I've learned a couple of important things too. First, I learned to let go and let someone else take over "my kingdom." I've discovered that I don't have to be everything all the time and that I have to let Ken parent in his way. Second I learned how important it is to have a partner who is devoted to his family. I'm glad that we share that as a common value. Finally, I learned what people mean when they say "when life closes a door, God opens a window." Our window, it turns out, came with a beautiful view.
Ken is upstairs right now coaxing Beth and Emily into the tubby. Its princess bubble bath night. I'd better get going or I'll miss my turn to make pony tails out of the soap suds.
4 comments:
Glad that you enjoyed it. :-)
I worked for 12 years in the moving and storage industry. I helped people plan there moves when their companies decided it was time to turn their lives upside down and relocate.
Toward the end of my tenure, I noticed more and more stay at home dads. These men were the most well-adjusted men I have ever spoken to! Comfortable enough in their own skin to "let" their wives be the bread winners while they realize their full potential as parents - I never talked with one who wasn't pleasant and delightful - a BIG switch from most of the women I had to deal with. They were, in fact my favorite customers.
Anyway - I think it is exceptionally cool that your Ken is one of those rawkin' awesome dads! My hat is off to him!
I am not sure we would have planned to got this route. But having found ourselves on the path, we've come to realize its a great place to be.
None of them planned it that way - I just think it is an exceptional man who can rise to the occasion and in return they are rewarded with incredible relationships with their children and a level of happiness that I think surprises them. :)
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