There is a Ninja Living in My House

There is a Ninja living in my house. He is almost seven years old and does not like to eat his green beans. He dresses in black and slips into the pantry to steal cookies. I would like to hire Spiderman to protect my cookies from the Ninja. But I suspect that they are working together to plot against me. My Ninja lives in a cave at the top of a mountain - when he is not sleeping in the bunk beds down the hall, cuddled up with his stuffed lamby. When I was seven, I lived in a castle on the edge of the ocean. I walked in pink sand and bathed in green waves. Sometime between the age of eight and forty three my castle was washed away.

The Ninja lives next door to the Princess. She is almost four and wears pink from head to toe. Her name is Blossom. She likes to dance and twirl. The Princess issues her royal commands from her bed chamber. “Bring me some water!” I am but a peasant in her kingdom. So I comply. The Princess has a best friend. His name is Bubby Bear and he is stuffed with fluff. When Bubby has a message for us, the Princess will deliver it in a deep voice, “I need a cwacker pwease.” Bubby Bear always shares his crackers with the Princess. When I was four my best friend was a stuffed doggie. It resembled a poodle with a green bob of fur on its head and tail. I remember whispering secrets to her under the covers at night. One day between the age of five and forty three she disappeared from my head. She was no longer real to me.

When I go to the sink to get the Princess her water, I discover that there is a ducky swimming in my tub. She is almost two. She splishes and splashes until there is a puddle of water all over the floor. She quacks and giggles at me as I try to wash the soap from her hair. When I take her from the tub to dry her feathers, she waddles away before I can catch her. She flies into the nursery and picks up her Dora book. The Ducky wants a story. When I was two, I yipped like a puppy, lapped my water from a bowl and chased my tail. I am not sure when, but one day between the age of three and forty three I grew up. I became an adult.

My head became filled with the thoughts of an adult. I have important work to do, like washing the dishes, preparing a memo and pulling weeds. But the Ninja, the Princess and the Ducky have even more imporant work. They must rescue us from Swiper the Fox who will eat all our Cheerios when we are not looking. And they must chase away the hairy monsters that hide under our beds and mess up our rooms when we are sleeping. The Ninja, the Princess and the Ducky live in the magic kingdom. When I was little I lived there too. But I moved away so many years ago. I did not return - until the Ninja, the Princess and the Ducky brought me home again.