Preparing for Take Off

Do you remember the last time you were on an airplane?  Maybe you were on a business trip.  Or maybe you were going on vacation.  If your flight was recent, the plane was crowded and everyone was grumpy.

As the plane rolled away from the gate, you may have thumbed through the in flight magazine.  Or maybe you leaned back and closed your eyes.  Or maybe you chatted with the person seated next to you asking the old standard questions like “Where are you going?” and “Where are you from?”

The one thing you probably didn’t do was listen to the flight attendant.  Maybe you saw the thin young man wearing a pressed blue uniform standing in the middle of the aisle.  Maybe you noticed him holding a seat belt and pretending to buckle it.  You may have even been aware that he was talking.  But chances are, you probably were too busy shoving your iPod into your purse to hear what he was saying.   

Too bad, because he was saying something important. 

“The cabin is pressurized for your comfort and safety. In the unlikely event of a cabin depressurization, oxygen masks will appear overhead. … If you are seated next to a small child or someone needing assistance, secure your own mask first, and then assist the child. “

If you are a frequent flyer, it’s probably OK to ignore this scripted message.  There’s a good chance it will never be relevant on your flight.  But if you are a mom or a dad, listen carefully.  The words were meant for you.

Like the cabin, a parent’s life is pressurized.  We try to maintain a delicate balance to ensure the comfort and safety of our children.  But sometimes, every once in a while, the cabin depressurizes as we hit turbulence. 

When that occurs, our first instinct is to care for our children.  To guard their safety.  To protect them above all else.  It’s an instinct.  We can’t help it.

But to best care for our children, we need also to remember to care for ourselves.  If Mom is not healthy, she cannot tend to the health of her babies.  If Dad is not happy, he cannot bring happiness to his children. 

Secure your oxygen mask is a statement for parents.  But it’s not a statement of selfishness.  It doesn’t mean that we get to be gluttons in the pursuit of our own happiness.  It doesn’t mean we stay out all night partying while our children stay home pining for us. 

It means that if parents don’t tend to their own basic needs, their children will suffer greatly. Because doing what is best for our children also means doing what is best for ourselves. It means slowing our pace when we are ill, so that we can recover for tomorrow.  It means allowing ourselves a few minutes of quiet in the morning so that we’ll feel better when the kids wake up.  It means giving ourselves a break now and then.  Secure your own oxygen mask first is a reminder that we can’t take care of others unless we first take care of ourselves.

Soon it will be time to make a few resolutions for the New Year.  Some may write, “To lose ten pounds.”  Others will say, “To exercise more.” Whatever yours may be, if you are a parent, make sure to include “secure your oxygen mask first.”