What was causing you so much fear, you may ask. Were you about to give birth to your first child, three weeks early without having prepared the nursery? No, it was worse than that.
Had you just walked into the dentist office on the day of your root canal? No, it was worse than that.
Much, worse.
Much, much worse.
I was about to give a speech. In public. And I was afraid.
What is this thing called fear that makes us feel scared? That tears us up inside. That makes us want to run away, or worse, throw up.
Medical professionals say that fear is a chain reaction in the brain that starts with a stressful stimulus and ends with the release of chemicals that cause a racing heart, fast breathing and energized muscles Psychologists say that these physical responses are intended to help us survive dangerous situations by preparing us to either run for our lives or, if needed, to fight for them.
This is also known as the fight-or-flight response. Fear -- and the fight-or-flight response in particular -- is an instinct that every animal possesses.
Fear, it turns out, is a good thing. If we couldn't be afraid, we wouldn't survive for long. We’d carelessly walk into traffic, crossing against the green. We’d jump out of airplanes without parachutes. We’d sleep in caves full of poisonous snakes. We'd die.
Fear is so ingrained in our genes that scientists have concluded our fear and our response to it are essential to the survival of our race. Lucky for us, human development has given us fear. Our ancestors who feared the right things survived to pass on their genes to us. People who didn’t…..well, they were eaten by dinosaurs.
When you think of fear in terms of survival, most common fears make sense. Like fears of bugs, mice, snakes, and bats. These are dangerous, poisons animals. They carry disease. They could bite or scratch us. They could kill us. People who react with fear to these animals are merely drawing on an ingrained instinct to protect themselves. It’s about survival. Fear of Heights. That’s obvious. People are afraid of heights for a simple reason. Because we can't fly. It’s about survival.
Enclosed Spaces, like elevators. It’s just the instinct to avoid being trapped in a corner where a predator can catch and devour you. It’s about survival.
But speaking in public? It’s one of the most common fears in the world. Yet it has nothing to do with survival. Unlike a poisonous snake, or a man eating tiger, speaking in front of people isn’t going to kill me. Or is it?
As humans, our survival depends on our relationship to our community. In ancient times one of the worst punishments to bestow on criminals wasn’t death…..it was banishment from the community. It was isolation from those on whom we depend to survive. Being shunned by the community, being thrown out of society meant putting your survival at risk.
When we fear speaking in public, our real fear isn’t the speaking. Our real fear is that we will be rejected - shunned and ostracized from our community. Our fear is that we won’t survive. That we will die.
Unfortunately, in today’s world, public speaking is often necessary. A presentation at work. A meeting at city council. A church group. Boy scouts and girl scouts. Every day we are presented with situations where we have to communicate in front of groups of people. We can’t avoid it.
Now we have the rub. Fear, which ensures our continued survival, and the reality of our world. What do we do to resolve the tension?
The first thing to do is realize that, no matter how bad it feels, you aren’t going to die. There have been no reported cases of public speaking causing death. It won’t kill us. And though we are risking rejection by our community, the reality is that we probably aren’t going to be voted off the island for what we say.
The next thing to do is to practice and prepare. Walking into a situation where you know your material helps alleviate your sense of screwing up in front of everyone. It will give you confidence that they will accept you. That confidence will show, which will increase your chance of success.
Additionally, don’t expect perfection. Give yourself a break. No one is perfect. There is a really good chance you will screw up. You will make mistakes. Maybe more than one. After all, you’re only human. But even with your flaws, your friends and family still love you. And society isn’t likely to cast you out into the desert. Instead of fearing your mistakes, look at them as opportunities to learn and grow.
Finally, use your fear. Fear creates energy, the wobbly knees, the sweaty palms, the racing heart – its energy. Your job isn’t to quash the energy, to push it aside or avoid it. Your job is to channel it and use it for your own purposes. Embrace the energy. Draw on it. Use it in your voice, your hands, your passion, your purpose.
When you look at it in the right light, fear isn’t so bad after all. As Mark Twain said, "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear."
Remember, fear is good thing.
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