Sunday, July 18, 2010

Hand Me Downs

Emily (4) is spinning around the room. She’s wearing her pale tomato sundress. The one with the ruffles on the skirt and the spaghetti straps. When she twirls, the air catches her skirt and it fans out like a tutu on a ballerina. It’s one of Emily’s favorite outfits.

A few weeks ago, Emily wore it at the amusement park. When she climbed on the carousel, she insisted on picking a white horse with a pale pink saddle because, she said, it matched her dress. I can still see her gripping the reigns of her steed, the perfect accessory to her beautiful outfit.

Our friend Abbey gave us the sundress in a big bag of hand me down clothes. Emily fell in love with it from the first day. She wore it to bed.  She wore it to church.  She wore it to preschool.  She even wore it in the winter (though I made her put a sweater over it).

When Emily is done with the dress, she’ll pass it to Beth. Later, We’ll pass it to another family with a little girl. If we’re lucky, they will pass it on further.

I’m a big fan of hand me downs. But not for the obvious reason – to save money. My motivation is more emotional.

Take the bear shoes for example. They are my favorite. Eric (7) received them as a present from a co-worker of mine. They came with a red sweater and tiny little blue jeans. And when Eric wore the outfit, it made him look more like a miniature man than a baby.

It only took a few months for Eric to outgrow the pants and seater. But the shoes, which were a brown pair of bedroom slippers with a bear face on the toes, lasted him almost a year. Eric wore the bear shoes daily. He was wearing them on his first Christmas. He wore them at Easter. He wore them when he took his first step.

Eventually Eric outgrew the bear shoes but we passed them on to Emily. A few years later, Beth (2) had her turn. Emily’s favorite trick was to yank the slippers off her feet in the car and toss them on the floor. Beth preferred to chew on them.

The shoes don’t fit Beth anymore. But they are still in her closet. I can’t bear (pun intended) to part with them. Every once in a while I pull them off her top shelf, hug them close, and remember the tiny feet that use to fill them.

The cow costume is also in Beth’s closet, hanging on the rack. Eric wore the cow costume on his first Halloween. I had been nursing Eric and was feeling a bit exhausted from the process. I picked out the cow costume because it represented my emotional state. Plus he looked dang cute in it. Like the bear shoes, the cow costume was passed down from Eric to Emily to Beth.

My favorite hand me down is the Christening Outfit. It’s a white linen dress with lace ruffles around the neck and sleeves. My Nana made it the year my niece Katelin was born. Katelin wore it for her baptism. A few years later, my nephew Daniel had his turn.

After Dan’s baptism, my sister wrapped the Christening Outfit in white tissue paper, laid it in a box and stored it in her hall closet. It stayed there for several years. Finally, thirteen years later, when Eric was born, Theresa pulled it out of storage and shared it with me. Over the next five years the Christening Outfit was worn four more times – by my nephew Max, my daughter Emily, my niece Mary and my daughter Beth.

Each time I see one of our babies in the Christening Outfit, I think of Nana. I imagine her holding another great grandchild. I can see her touching a precious little nose. I can see her smiling. The Christening Outfit has brought a part of Nana to the continuing celebration of our family.

Right now, the Christening Outfit is in my closet. I’m waiting for my niece Katelin or my nephew Dan to need it for one of their future babies. When they do, I'll hand it down.

Spring cleaning is tough for me. I have a hard time letting go of my kid’s old clothes. I'll look carefully at the blue shirt Eric wore to his first day of kindergarten. Should I keep it? Or give it to our friend Jack.  I'll examine the pink dress with bubble shaped polka dots that Emily always liked to wear to bed. Am I ready to see it on Beth or can it stay Emily's.  I'll smile when I touch the yellow jumper that Beth wore when she took her first steps.  Should I hold it and cherish it or hand it down?

I have such powerful memories in my children’s wardrobe.  Sometimes I keep a few pieces, like the bear shoes.  More often I hand them down so another family can create their own memories.

Last week I was talking to Abbey’s mom.

“I saw Emily wearing an Abbey dress today.” She said. There was a smile in her voice. I could tell she was recalling the days when Abbey was four and had danced and twirled in that same outfit.

“It’s one of Emily’s favorites.” I shared “And when she gets too big, Beth will enjoy it too.”

Now we were both smiling and feeling content that the memories would live on.

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