A few weeks ago, Eric invited his friend Abbey over for a play date. They've been pals since preschool and have kept in touch now that they are both in first grade. It was a sunny autumn afternoon and they played let’s pretend together on the swing set in our backyard. When I asked Eric what games they were playing he said they were puppies. Later, Abbey and Eric created some art. Eric made a yellow star with glitter and glue for Abbey. Abbey made an enormous pink and purple heart for Eric.
That’s when Abbey told me a secret. “Eric and I love each other”, she confessed, “but not like moms and dads. We love each other like friends.” It was so sweet my heart almost burst. “Honey”, I said, “You can never have too many good friends who love you.
It’s true. You never can have too many friends who love you. You know who they are. The people you can count on to give you a lift on a dreary day. The ones that make you laugh so hard that you spit milk out your nose. And the ones who give you a strong shoulder to lean on when you feel weak.
I’ve been fortunate to have some great friends in my life. From the time I was four until we relocated to separate coasts, my friend Michele and I were best pals. We helped each other heal the wounds from spoiled relationships while eating copious amounts of mint chocolate chip ice cream and listening to gloomy power ballads on a cassette deck. In college, I had three fantastic roommates each with their own energy and spirit. Val, Jen and Julie aided me as I navigated the confusing path from teen to adult. In the process we had a couple of beers (as well as one or two hang overs), threw some parties, and laughed out loud till the landlord came knocking on the door. After a late night of celebrating (whatever might have been important enough for a college student to celebrate) we would watch MTV or “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” into the wee hours of the morning. Another favorite pastime was playing hours and hours and hours of volleyball before heading out for a few drinks.
This past October I flew to Arizona to spend a long weekend with three great friends. Sherry, Erin,Kim and I had all worked together and shared the common complaints of our occupation. We lounged by the pool in the dry sun for hours and sipped froo froo drinks. We told secrets and stories that made us laugh so hard our ribs hurt and scared away the other hotel guests in the process. We celebrated each others accomplishments. And we helped each other heal from scars – some recent, some more remote. Every once in a while, I need a weekend like that to remind me to keep my friends close.
When I look around, I realize how lucky I am. I have three fantastic kids. I have an awesome husband. My parents, sisters, in-laws, nieces and nephews are wonderful too. I’m fortunate that I have such great friends and family who all love me in just the right way.
As time goes by, Eric and Abbey will probably drift apart. She’ll find playing puppy dog games is less interesting than puppy love or shopping for new shoes. Eric will become consumed with racing BMX bikes or skateboarding or driving a convertible. They won’t schedule play dates and will stop sitting next to each other in the cafeteria. But some day, when Eric and Abbey are both pushing forty, I think they’ll each look back and remember what a beautiful thing it was to have a good friend to love.
That’s when Abbey told me a secret. “Eric and I love each other”, she confessed, “but not like moms and dads. We love each other like friends.” It was so sweet my heart almost burst. “Honey”, I said, “You can never have too many good friends who love you.
It’s true. You never can have too many friends who love you. You know who they are. The people you can count on to give you a lift on a dreary day. The ones that make you laugh so hard that you spit milk out your nose. And the ones who give you a strong shoulder to lean on when you feel weak.
I’ve been fortunate to have some great friends in my life. From the time I was four until we relocated to separate coasts, my friend Michele and I were best pals. We helped each other heal the wounds from spoiled relationships while eating copious amounts of mint chocolate chip ice cream and listening to gloomy power ballads on a cassette deck. In college, I had three fantastic roommates each with their own energy and spirit. Val, Jen and Julie aided me as I navigated the confusing path from teen to adult. In the process we had a couple of beers (as well as one or two hang overs), threw some parties, and laughed out loud till the landlord came knocking on the door. After a late night of celebrating (whatever might have been important enough for a college student to celebrate) we would watch MTV or “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” into the wee hours of the morning. Another favorite pastime was playing hours and hours and hours of volleyball before heading out for a few drinks.
This past October I flew to Arizona to spend a long weekend with three great friends. Sherry, Erin,Kim and I had all worked together and shared the common complaints of our occupation. We lounged by the pool in the dry sun for hours and sipped froo froo drinks. We told secrets and stories that made us laugh so hard our ribs hurt and scared away the other hotel guests in the process. We celebrated each others accomplishments. And we helped each other heal from scars – some recent, some more remote. Every once in a while, I need a weekend like that to remind me to keep my friends close.
When I look around, I realize how lucky I am. I have three fantastic kids. I have an awesome husband. My parents, sisters, in-laws, nieces and nephews are wonderful too. I’m fortunate that I have such great friends and family who all love me in just the right way.
As time goes by, Eric and Abbey will probably drift apart. She’ll find playing puppy dog games is less interesting than puppy love or shopping for new shoes. Eric will become consumed with racing BMX bikes or skateboarding or driving a convertible. They won’t schedule play dates and will stop sitting next to each other in the cafeteria. But some day, when Eric and Abbey are both pushing forty, I think they’ll each look back and remember what a beautiful thing it was to have a good friend to love.
2 comments:
You are very lucky to have friends like that.
I have none. Things happened to me pretty early on that made me feel suspicious of and disagreeable towards women. I pay for that all the time. Over and over and over again. When your heart is broken so early it changes who you are and I don't really believe that people change who they are at the core.
Anyway - you are very lucky... :)
Seeing the woman you have become, I am betting that there are many who love you.
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