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"Mama, read eggo." Bethy snuggles into my lap. We are sitting on the floor in her room surrounded by heaps of books. She wants me to read her Dora the Explorer book for the 100th time. I know exactly which one she means - the one where Dora and Boots adventure with cousin Diego (or eggo to Beth) to save baby Jaguar. As soon as we finish "eggo" she picks up her Find the Ducky book and we laugh together as we read it again and again and again and again.......
At two years old, Beth's interests are plain. She appreciates chocolate cake, a tickle on the tummy, and reading books about her favorite topics: ducks, Dora and doggies. Her favorite color is yellow, like a duck. Her favorite songs include "My Bunny (bonnie) Lies Over the Ocean" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider." Even though we are singing it for the tenth time in a row, Beth giggles as if it is brand new. I feign fascination when the spider is washed out, yet again. But it’s Beth’s favorite song and when she smiles and insists "Again! Again", I oblige.
One of the best pieces of parental advice I ever received was from my sister Theresa. She passed on wisdom that my Aunt Betty and Uncle Jim shared with her. Simply put, she told me to "be interested in the things that interest your kids. If your kids like basketball, then you like basketball. If your kids like swimming, then you like swimming." I keep this idea in mind every day and do my best to apply it.
When Theresa shared this wisdom, I understood her meaning clearly. She didn't convey that I should share my passions with my children. She didn't advise that I spend time engaged in interests that I have in common with my kids. She didn't tell me to try and be their friends. She told me to be interested in whatever interested them. The underlying message was that being able to communicate with your children about things that are important to them will go a long way when it comes time to communicating about important things.
During her youth, Theresa enjoyed sports like basketball, softball and volleyball. On becoming a Mom, she looked forward to the days of passing on her passion. But when my niece Katelin and my nephew Daniel were small, they didn't share her enthusiasm for all things athletic. Rather than force them into years of therapy because "Mom made me play soccer when I hated it", she switched gears. Instead of focusing on what she liked, she helped her kids find their passion and then enjoyed it with them. As the kids grew older, she continued to communicate with them on all sorts of issues. She's following the same plan with baby Mary who is almost three.
As a result of Theresa’s advice, I can name at least ten different Pokeman and their associated powers. And I even know that Dragonoid is a Bakugan, not a Pokeman. Since Eric likes to play ice hockey, I make it a point to skate with him from time to time. I have read the Disney version of Sleeping Beauty enough times to tell you that her real name is Aurora, that her father is King Stephan and that Maleficent is responsible for the evil curse. I know that Emily will correct me if I get any of that wrong. I have read most of the Magic Tree House series and watched enough episodes of Dora the Explorer to last a life time. I have attended countless tea parties and know how to pretend to be a very convincing Power Ranger. And I enjoy every blessed moment of it.
Being in touch with what interests my kids comes in very handy. One time last year, I had to take Emily (three at the time) to the hospital for some tests. Before going, we read Curious George - the one where he goes to the hospital. She learned enough about hospitals, doctors and nurses for me to convey to her young mind what would happen during her visit. The next day, as we sat in the waiting room, we talked about George together - sharing a common experience past and present. More recently, seven year old Eric and I enjoyed a spirited discussion on fairness and following the rules. We used soccer and hockey to give examples of how rules are often made to keep us safe and to make things more fun for everyone. And we talked about what to do when someone acts in a way that isn't fair.
I don't kid myself. I appreciate that right now I have little kids with little problems. Eric’s biggest concern is that he can’t tie his shoes by himself. Emily worries most about which stuffed animal will share her bed. And Beth’s biggest problem is a poopy diaper. There are no boyfriends, college applications or driver's licenses getting in the way yet. I'm just hoping that being involved in their lives today will pay off big in the future. But even if it doesn’t, I’m going to have some really cool memories to look back on.
At two years old, Beth's interests are plain. She appreciates chocolate cake, a tickle on the tummy, and reading books about her favorite topics: ducks, Dora and doggies. Her favorite color is yellow, like a duck. Her favorite songs include "My Bunny (bonnie) Lies Over the Ocean" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider." Even though we are singing it for the tenth time in a row, Beth giggles as if it is brand new. I feign fascination when the spider is washed out, yet again. But it’s Beth’s favorite song and when she smiles and insists "Again! Again", I oblige.
One of the best pieces of parental advice I ever received was from my sister Theresa. She passed on wisdom that my Aunt Betty and Uncle Jim shared with her. Simply put, she told me to "be interested in the things that interest your kids. If your kids like basketball, then you like basketball. If your kids like swimming, then you like swimming." I keep this idea in mind every day and do my best to apply it.
When Theresa shared this wisdom, I understood her meaning clearly. She didn't convey that I should share my passions with my children. She didn't advise that I spend time engaged in interests that I have in common with my kids. She didn't tell me to try and be their friends. She told me to be interested in whatever interested them. The underlying message was that being able to communicate with your children about things that are important to them will go a long way when it comes time to communicating about important things.
During her youth, Theresa enjoyed sports like basketball, softball and volleyball. On becoming a Mom, she looked forward to the days of passing on her passion. But when my niece Katelin and my nephew Daniel were small, they didn't share her enthusiasm for all things athletic. Rather than force them into years of therapy because "Mom made me play soccer when I hated it", she switched gears. Instead of focusing on what she liked, she helped her kids find their passion and then enjoyed it with them. As the kids grew older, she continued to communicate with them on all sorts of issues. She's following the same plan with baby Mary who is almost three.
As a result of Theresa’s advice, I can name at least ten different Pokeman and their associated powers. And I even know that Dragonoid is a Bakugan, not a Pokeman. Since Eric likes to play ice hockey, I make it a point to skate with him from time to time. I have read the Disney version of Sleeping Beauty enough times to tell you that her real name is Aurora, that her father is King Stephan and that Maleficent is responsible for the evil curse. I know that Emily will correct me if I get any of that wrong. I have read most of the Magic Tree House series and watched enough episodes of Dora the Explorer to last a life time. I have attended countless tea parties and know how to pretend to be a very convincing Power Ranger. And I enjoy every blessed moment of it.
Being in touch with what interests my kids comes in very handy. One time last year, I had to take Emily (three at the time) to the hospital for some tests. Before going, we read Curious George - the one where he goes to the hospital. She learned enough about hospitals, doctors and nurses for me to convey to her young mind what would happen during her visit. The next day, as we sat in the waiting room, we talked about George together - sharing a common experience past and present. More recently, seven year old Eric and I enjoyed a spirited discussion on fairness and following the rules. We used soccer and hockey to give examples of how rules are often made to keep us safe and to make things more fun for everyone. And we talked about what to do when someone acts in a way that isn't fair.
I don't kid myself. I appreciate that right now I have little kids with little problems. Eric’s biggest concern is that he can’t tie his shoes by himself. Emily worries most about which stuffed animal will share her bed. And Beth’s biggest problem is a poopy diaper. There are no boyfriends, college applications or driver's licenses getting in the way yet. I'm just hoping that being involved in their lives today will pay off big in the future. But even if it doesn’t, I’m going to have some really cool memories to look back on.
2 comments:
or hormones... there are no hormones, LOL... but seriously, I think you and Theresa are spot on. No one ever told me that, but I have always been interested in what William is interested in. I know about iCarly than any adult should, LOL... but you can't connect, you can't be plugged in if you don't "speak their language"... right??
We have not had to watch much iCarly yet but I did get to see the Wizards of Waverly Place movie 10 times.
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