Last week at Emily’s preschool music class the teacher lined up all the kids. There were ten of them and she told them that they were all blue pigeons sitting on a wall. The teacher began to sing, “Ten blue pigeons sitting on a wall.” Almost immediately, Emily interrupted. “I’m a pink bird!” she insisted in her high pitched, squeaky four year old voice.
The teacher started the song again, “Ten blue pigeons…..” But Emily was not discouraged. Once again, she piped up “I’m a pink bird!” Finally, the teacher acquiesced and altered the lyrics of the song to say "Ten blue pigeons (and one pink bird) sitting on a wall." A few Moms glanced at me with an “I’m so sorry your child is behaving so badly” look. A couple of others muttered a soft “tsk, tsk” under their breath. And a few laughed. I beamed. I beamed because my four year old daughter was the only pink bird in a world of blue pigeons and she wasn’t going to let anyone tell her otherwise.
A few days later, I told the story of the pink bird to a friend at work. He chuckled and said “There has to be a lesson in that story somewhere.” He was right. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that tiny little Emily was trying to teach us all three very important lessons. Let me share them with you.
Lesson 1: Be the Bird You Want to Be (You have the power to define who you are.)
Lesson 2: Stand Out in the Crowd. (Be a pink bird in a world of blue pigeons.)
Lesson 3: Celebrate your Pinkness (We are all a bit different and that’s OK.)
Let me explain some more.
Lesson 1: Be the Bird You Want to Be.
Though just a child, in her innocence, little Emily understands something that is very important but that many of us have forgotten. She knows that she is the only person with the power to define who she is.
Unfortunately, in our grown up ways, many of don't realize this. And in missing this point, we allow other people to tell us who we are. They see us as a “wife” or a “mother” or a “doctor” or a “waitress.” And they pin labels on us and set expectations as to what we should say and do and what we should want or be. They tell us we are blue pigeons and we believe them. And we live our blue pigeon lives hopping in the park pecking bread off the ground with the other blue pigeons, following what the flock has chosen for us. And that, my friends, is the greatest lie of life.
The teacher started the song again, “Ten blue pigeons…..” But Emily was not discouraged. Once again, she piped up “I’m a pink bird!” Finally, the teacher acquiesced and altered the lyrics of the song to say "Ten blue pigeons (and one pink bird) sitting on a wall." A few Moms glanced at me with an “I’m so sorry your child is behaving so badly” look. A couple of others muttered a soft “tsk, tsk” under their breath. And a few laughed. I beamed. I beamed because my four year old daughter was the only pink bird in a world of blue pigeons and she wasn’t going to let anyone tell her otherwise.
A few days later, I told the story of the pink bird to a friend at work. He chuckled and said “There has to be a lesson in that story somewhere.” He was right. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that tiny little Emily was trying to teach us all three very important lessons. Let me share them with you.
Lesson 1: Be the Bird You Want to Be (You have the power to define who you are.)
Lesson 2: Stand Out in the Crowd. (Be a pink bird in a world of blue pigeons.)
Lesson 3: Celebrate your Pinkness (We are all a bit different and that’s OK.)
Let me explain some more.
Lesson 1: Be the Bird You Want to Be.
Though just a child, in her innocence, little Emily understands something that is very important but that many of us have forgotten. She knows that she is the only person with the power to define who she is.
Unfortunately, in our grown up ways, many of don't realize this. And in missing this point, we allow other people to tell us who we are. They see us as a “wife” or a “mother” or a “doctor” or a “waitress.” And they pin labels on us and set expectations as to what we should say and do and what we should want or be. They tell us we are blue pigeons and we believe them. And we live our blue pigeon lives hopping in the park pecking bread off the ground with the other blue pigeons, following what the flock has chosen for us. And that, my friends, is the greatest lie of life.
Because the reality is that I am the only person who can define who I am. You are the only person who can define who you are. All it takes is the courage to stand up and say “Hey, I’m not a blue pigeon. I’m a pink bird!” The reality is that I have the power to be the bird I want to be. And you have the power to be the bird you want to be. And nobody anywhere has the power to tell either or us otherwise.
Lesson 2: Stand Out in the Crowd.
As we grow up we attend school, we get a job, and we become part of a community. And all around us there is a tremendous amount of pressure to “fit in” and to “go with the flow” and to “follow the crowd.” And thousands of people do just that every day. They eat lunch at TGI Fridays and they attend Chamber of Commerce Meetings each month. They wear neatly pressed suits and ties and keep their hair trimmed. And by all means, they try not to draw any undue attention to themselves. And there lives are dull and gray. And they are miserable.
But not Emily. Emily is special. She’s sweet and funny and most of all, she is unique. And she knows it. And more important than that, Emily is not afraid to stand out and be different. And she doesn't care what anyone else thinks about that. When she wakes up and dresses herself in an orange striped t-shirt and purple and pink plaid pants she is screaming to the world “Look at me, I’m unique and special and I love myself.” That’s the power of being four, I guess.
But imagine what your life could become if you took the advice of that four year old girl. Suddenly, you wouldn’t care that you were wearing white after Labor Day or that you left your Christmas lights up well into February just because you thought they were pretty and still felt like celebrating. Suddenly, you would be free to stand out in the crowd and enjoy all of the ways in which you are unique and special. And all of the opinions of all of the people who were telling you all of the things you can't do wouldn't matter anymore. Suddenly you would be proud to discover that you are a pink bird in a world of blue pigeons.
Lesson 3: Celebrate your Inner Pinkness.
It’s not enough to understand that you are a pink bird in a world of blue pigeons. To be fully alive, you need to embrace your inner pinkness. The truth is, we are all a bit different. Rather than try and ignore what makes us each special – or worse yet, try and hide it – we need to celebrate it.
Emily celebrates her inner pinkness every day. “Honey,” I say, “Please put on your jammies.” “No, Mommy,” She responds “Tonight I am a mermaid.” She dons her mermaid princess costume and crawls into bed and falls asleep smiling from ear to ear. Emily doesn’t care if the other Moms are snickering or saying “tsk, tsk.” She is happy - really and truly happy. And that is enough.
Be remarkable! Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Understand that you are uniquely you. And love yourself exactly as you are – with all your faults and foible and failings. Because your inner pinkness makes you the most wonderful, special person in the world.
Three such beautiful lessons from such a wise young girl! But of course, we all know that it’s not always easy to be pink. Someday, when Emily is thirteen she may succumb to peer pressure and spend copious amounts of time just trying to fit in. She will darken her feathers and try and make herself look just like all the other blue pigeons. She’ll stop playing tag with the butterflies and will sit dully on a park bench marking time with the flock. But I promise you, when she does, I’ll be there to remind her that in her heart she is a pink bird and meant to fly high. Because pink birds are a rare and precious breed.
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